Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

Dear MO Lawmakers,

Normally I keep my focus on the crazy that is Kansas, but when something spectacular catches my eye from across the state line, I have to stop and write about it. That’s what happened with MO HB2610 or as I like to call it the Casey Kasem bill, because this bill has lawmakers keeping their feet on the ground, but reaching for the stars –

By stars I mean other professions they are not.

Be it enacted by the General Assembly of the state of Missouri, as follows:
Section A. Chapter 21, RSMo, is amended by adding thereto one new section, to be
2 known as section 21.085, to read as follows:
21.085. A person who has served at least two years as a member of the Missouri
2 general assembly shall:
3 (1) Qualify such person to practice law as an attorney in the state of Missouri; and
4 (2) Satisfy any requirements for a person to become an associate or circuit court
5 judge in the state of Missouri.

Whamo-O two years in the general assembly and you are qualified to practice law in Missouri.

Why stop there lawmakers? Lets face it, you spend almost all of those two years passing law after law regulating lady parts. I think that qualifies you to perform a pap smear or two. Let’s just throw MD after your name, get you some ice-cold stirrups and open yourself up a GYN office.

Who can forget the gun bills. There are enough of those to wallpaper your office. That qualifies you to fix a siren on top of your minivan and call yourself a policeman.

I love, love, love this idea of just doing something long enough to expand our career choices. For example, here is a selfie of me contemplating your bill so taking selfies must mean I’m a Kardashian. Since I wrote the word Karashian, I must be a famous celebrity gossip columnist. I’ve also been writing this little blog for over three years that must mean I’m an award-winning journalist. FullSizeRender

Thank you for having the power to make us something we are not.

Signed,

Aimee
Award-winning journalist, celebrity gossip columnist and Kardashian

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10 thoughts on “MO Bill 2610 Makes Anything Possible #MOLEG

  1. Leesa says:

    I’m partial to calling it the Holiday Inn Express bill.

  2. Shelly says:

    This is arrogant and foolish. Maybe we should call it the Trump bill.

  3. Lisa says:

    Love all your missives, but this is one of your better ones.
    Kansas legislators are bat___ crazy. Maybe Missouri legislators are jealous and want that title. Missouri legislators are wanting media attention. Some people believe bad press is better than no press.

  4. UncleSam says:

    We interrupt this broadcast of PATTON’S PULP FICTION to bring you a BREAKING DISPATCH FROM THE REAL WORLD!!!

    Dear President Oblama and the Democratic National Committee:

    Normally I keep my focus on the sanity that is Kansas, but when something spectacular catches my eye on the national level, I have to stop and write about it. That’s what happened with Oblama’s Immigration Policy or as I like to call it the Presidential Meddle of Dishonor, because this policy of openly violating U.S. law to purposely flood the country with millions of illegal immigrants wrecks havoc upon our economy, legal system, social safety net, and most importantly, American’s respect for the rule of law. And you call yourself a Constitutional legal scholar?

    By “illegal immigrant” I mean: an alien (non-citizen) who has entered the United States without government permission or stayed beyond the termination date of a visa.

    President Oblama is advancing toward a greater goal of lowering the American standard of living, while melding the Americas (North/Central/South) into a borderless European Union-like vassal state ruled by unelected bureaucrats ensconced in extra-judicial protection zones.

    Be it enacted by the Executive Action of President Barack Oblama, the following:
    “Millions of illegal immigrants who have purposely violated United States law shall now be shielded from the law enforcement and judicial systems. They are not to be held accountable for their illegal acts.”

    Whamo-O!! Violate American law and get rewarded for it! Just be sure to always vote for Democrats the rest of your life. Ka-ching!!

    But why stop there President Oblama and Congressional Democrats? Hey you regularly smoked pot, used cocaine and even heroin as a young adult, so you know all about flouting the law and disrespecting authority figures, so why not keep pushing the boundaries? I think you should amend that executive action on immigration to allow all illegals entering the United States to carry as much drug contraband on their person, or in their vehicle of choice, as they can fit. Come on, I mean if we’re really going to reward aliens for violating our laws, why not let them start off with some illicit cash from drug smuggling to help get them off to a great start in the good old U.S.A.? We should be reinforcing to them the whole concept of ignoring the American legal system, right?

    Oh, oh, what about guns too? Your former Attorney General Eric Holder, demonstrated the Oblama policy of transferring guns into Mexico to supply the warring drug cartels, so I really think we should accommodate any of the illegal immigrants desiring to arm themselves, without regards to any of those pesky legal restrictions on our books. Remember! We want to be a welcoming host country.

    I love, love, love this idea of just doing whatever the hell you want with these executive actions. Geez! It’s like Oblama flaming up a blunt, snorting a few lines of coke, grabbing his AK-47 and going out to Waialae Beach to party all night. Ah, those were the high school days!

    Here are a few pre-selfie pics of Barry contemplating his respect for American law.






    Signed,
    Uncle Sam

    1. Aimee Patton says:

      Here’s a great idea Uncle Sam – start your own blog and then you can post all of these rants on your own site. It’s really easy – Google WordPress and get started. Happy Blogging!

  5. LadyLiberty says:

    “all of these rants”
    Pleasantly Eccentric rants!
    EXACTLY AIMEE!!!

  6. Jack Mayer says:

    Great comments!!! You are a wonderful writer, and snooper too!

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