Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics


I was taking a writing break to go along with KS lawmakers’ spring break and then I read the latest about the Kansas revenue problems from last night so here I am. In fact, I almost flipped a coin to decide if I should write a blog about this (heads no, tails yes), but then I thought Shawn Sullivan might show up to take the coin to help with our revenue problems.

Buckle in- here we go (again)

Kansas is so broke….

How broke are we?

We are so broke we are going to replace the sunflower as our state flower with a money tree.

“State of Kansas revenue projections over the next 15 months were cut Wednesday by a quarter of a billion dollars to broaden the cash shortfall facing lawmakers and apply greater political pressure on Gov. Sam Brownback to deliver a road map to close the gap.”

We all know the story. Brownback and GOP lawmakers implemented the mothership of GOP tax cuts expecting an economic windfall to bestow itself on the state. Shock! It didn’t happen and left our state completely broke.  Every time S2 (Shawn Sullivan) opens his mouth it’s a broken record of revenue problems and budget issues. If it wasn’t so depressing it would be a snoozefest.

The Kansas Republicans are always quick with an excuse how it’s ANYTHING but their crazy tax plan that caused this shit show. And from the KSGOP PR playbook ALWAYS, I mean ALWAYS find a way to blame Obama.  I give you Ray Merrick’s response as exhibit A.  Capture

Sure Ray – keep telling yourself that if it helps you sleep at night.  Now  we are evidently left with three options a la “Let’s Make a Deal” to remedy this mess and none of them involves winning A BRAND NEW CAR!!!! I won’t go over all of the options, but they involve robbing the highway fund, screwing over our higher education budget (again)  and messing with a large tobacco settlement that goes towards early childhood education programs.  All of the options are real winners <slow clap and major eye roll>.  Sullivan made sure we all knew that Brownback preferred option #1.

So we should go with options 2 or 3.

I’ll just leave option #4 riiiigggghhhttt here – a tax increase.




7 thoughts on “KS is still broke-Let’s make a deal!

  1. Nellie Christine Crenshaw says:

    You are the best. Your wit, though it doesnt change the facts, is so rich. Now that I think know about it, your wit is so rich it should be taxed… except, your wit is self employed so it can’t be taxed.

    1. Kansaswoman says:

      Kansas is so broke that it’s time to consider legalizing marijuana, selling it in state stores and taxing it. Take a lesson from Colorado, reps and senators. Our neighbor to the west is not having any money problems.

  2. Larry Mann says:

    Would the last person to go please leave a light on?. I ran away to Florida a long time ago but I may want to come up for a bucket of snow this Christmas just to decorate my palms. Thanks in advance!

  3. ConservativeMaster says:

    Dear Aimee,

    Welcome back from your Spring Break vacation. Some of us enjoyed your absence….ha ha! I kid you of course, for who would I lambaste now that the Kansas City Star Editorial Board is nearly extinct?

    So, was it Detroit Michigan, Gary Indiana, or Berkeley California for this year’s Liberal vacation nesting spot? It certainly wasn’t Provo Utah, Lubbock Texas, or Abilene Texas, as they’re top-ranked Conservative enclaves wary of your type hanging around too long.
    see interesting study here:

    Ah, it must have been so difficult for you to return to Johnson County, as none other than Overland Park Kansas ranked in the TOP 25 Conservative Cities! Dear reader, now just think about that for a moment! Aimee Patton, the self-described “pleasantly eccentric” blogger who continually rails against all things Republican in Kansas, who is an adult of presumably sound mind (we’ll give her the benefit of the doubt…wink wink) voluntarily chooses to reside in one of the most Conservative cities in America! What’s up with that?

    Through her public writing, readers have discovered that Ms. Patton grew up in Johnson County, is a product of an Overland Park public high school and graduate of that conservative bastion of higher learning, Liberty’s own William Jewell College. Now, yes, William Jewell is known as a liberal (small “L”) arts college, but please recall it’s founders were members of the Missouri Baptist Convention. Praise The Lord, and pass the brimstone!

    It just seems so VERY ODD or ECCENTRIC if you will, that someone who received an excellent education and upbringing in one of America’s most Conservative cities, has had the opportunity to travel extensively and live for periods in other Liberal locales, would return to the Johnson County Kansas Conservative utopia which is Overland Park to raise her own child. Is that not political Liberal heresy?

    So, how to explain this schizophrenic dichotomy between stated beliefs and Ms. Patton’s freewill decision to live among her political counterparts? Perhaps Aimee just likes to complain a lot. Yes, that’s a distinct possibility, as she is a female. (Again, I jest!) I think a better explanation can be found in her blog’s “My Bio” section. It is here where we discover that Ms. Patton is divorced. EUREKA! We have struck the proverbial motherlode of psychological insight into her political persona. Could it be that Aimee Patton was previously married to a CONSERVATIVE? I’m thinking Brooks Brothers pinstripe buttoned-down anal-retentive uber Conservative banker type. Upon divorcing, as part of her cathartic journey to self-discovery and re-establishment, did Aimee Patton do a political 180 flip? You know those women who burn their exes clothing, donate his custom golf clubs to Goodwill, and shred his cigar collection into the toilet? Now, I could be wrong, but I think her insistence on battling the Kansas Republican Party might be a direct result of what I call Residual Anger Transference Syndrome or (RATS). Sad to say, but true, once RATS has infected an individual’s political thought process, the prognosis is negative. In fact, the only known case of a cure in Kansas involved a woman from Liberal who resettled to Independence and was spontaneously healed.

    If physically relocating from Overland Park is too onerous a task at this time for Ms. Patton, perhaps she could begin the healing transformation by adopting as her personal mantra one of the following:

    “Take the shoes off of your teeth and quit running your mouth about what the Republicans in Topeka should be doing.”

    “What the Liberal caterpillar calls the end of the world the Conservative master calls a butterfly.”

    “My time here is limited and I will not allow the noise of Liberal’s opinions to drown out my own inner voice. I will have the courage to follow my heart and intuition.”

    “Conservative action is the antidote to Liberal despair.”

    Cheers, and again welcome back! No, I really mean that…..hey quit laughing!

    1. Aimee Patton says:

      Hi Conservative Master – Thanks for the hearty welcome back. I know you missed me. You forgot the last part of RATS – ASS. Like I don’t give one. 🙂

    2. Aimee Patton says:

      BTW – I think you secretly love me. I love you too.

  4. ConservativeMaster says:

    Aw shucks! You made me blush.

    Oh, how I’ve longed to hear those words from my dearest Pleasantly Eccentric blogger. Be still my heart, and give me the strength to send a worthy reply.

    But wait….what’s this? She doesn’t give a RATS-ASS? Have I been lured into a honey-trap, only to be publicly spurned by this coy wordsmith?

    Hmm, what to do…what to do? She loves me….she loves me not? That is the question.

    My dearest Aimee, if our love was meant to be, I shall require a sign from you. If you truly love me, your ConservativeMaster, indicate so by incorporating all or part of the following code into your very next blog posting:

    Years ago, I wrote a column for the State Journal Register, so use code — SJR
    My little nephews are 3 and 9, so use code — 3, 9
    I work in Missouri, so use the code — MO

    While your other readers will be none the wiser, but upon seeing any or all of the above codes in your next posting, I’ll know that your heart beats RED, and James Carville/Mary Matalin blazed a path for two crazy kids like us. I shall eagerly await your next blog entry.

    P.S. You had me at “snarky”!!

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